


And We Have to Let Us Go

by LoonyLoopyLisa



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Getting Together, Lucky the pizza dog - Freeform, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, breaking up, liho the cat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:20:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28883796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLoopyLisa/pseuds/LoonyLoopyLisa
Summary: It seemed inevitable that they would end up together.  They had been inseparable since Clint had recruited her to Shield, refusing to go on missions with anyone else, spending all their off time together; hell, Natasha knew more about Clint than anybody else ever had.  So it made sense for them to get together.And anyway, Clint already loved Natasha more than he had ever loved anybody in his life.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6
Collections: Charity Hawktion 2020





	And We Have to Let Us Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vexbatch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vexbatch/gifts).



> For [Vex](https://vexbatch.tumblr.com/), who is wonderful and was so so patient with me. They bid on me as part of the [Charity Hawktion](https://charityhawktion.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> They asked for Clint and Natasha getting together and then realizing they are not cut out for a relationship based on their mismatched needs. I hope you like it!
> 
> Beta read by the lovely [FadedSepia](https://fadedsepiascribbles.tumblr.com/). Any remaining mistakes are my own. FadedSepia also came up with the title.

It seemed inevitable that they would end up together. They had been inseparable since Clint had recruited her to Shield, refusing to go on missions with anyone else, spending all their off time together; hell, Natasha knew more about Clint than anybody else ever had. So it made sense for them to get together.

And anyway, Clint already loved Natasha more than he had ever loved anybody in his life.

So it seemed natural to lean down and kiss her one day as he handed her coffee, sitting on his couch.

Natasha accepted the kiss and that was that.

***

Clint hadn’t ever had an actual girlfriend before. He had fooled around with plenty of girls - and guys - in the circus and after, but no one that stuck around for more than a day or so.

So he did what he always did when he wasn’t sure. Spied on civilians.

Clint walked through the park, cup of coffee in hand, watching the couples spread out across the grass. He saw people walking and holding hands, grinning as they played with dogs. Two guys were laughing as they threw seeds to the ducks. A girl was napping while another sketched her quietly. There was a guy sitting on a blanket with his girlfriend's head in his lap, feeding her bites of fruit from a basket at his side.

Finally feeling like he had a plan, he tossed his now empty cup in the trash before heading back to Shield headquarters. He made a list as he walked, wondering where he was supposed to buy a picnic basket.

***

The next afternoon Clint led Natasha to the same park, duffel bag in hand. She watched him silently as he unzipped the bag, pulling out the sheet from his bed, spreading it on the ground. Several sandwiches and bags of chips he had gotten from the SHIELD cafeteria came next, laid carefully in a small pile in the middle of the blanket.

Proud of his handiwork, Clint sat on the blanket, patting the spot next to him. Natasha sat gracefully, legs crossed, and looked out at the people walking by.

“What’s the mission?” she asked quietly.

“It’s not a mission,” Clint explained. “It’s, well, it’s a date?”

“A date,” Natasha repeated.

“Yeah,” Clint said, feeling unaccountably nervous. “Like a picnic.”

Natasha was silent for a few seconds before nodding decisively. “Okay, a date.” She reached toward the pile and pulled out a sandwich, apparently at random. They ate in silence, watching the people walk by. Once they were done eating Natasha stood, ushering Clint off the blanket and stuffing it, trash and all, back into the duffel bag.

Clint followed her out of the park, a heavy feeling settling in his stomach.

***

Clint trudged into his room, sweat still running down his back from training. By the time he finished in the shower, he was starving and looking forward to the box of Poptarts hiding in his bedside table.

He walked out of the bathroom and stopped dead. Natasha was standing in his bedroom, dressed in a beautiful green dress, red hair cascading in curls down her back. She was stunning, the most beautiful person Clint had ever seen.

“What’s the occasion?” he asked, pulling his favorite pair of ratty sweatpants out of the dresser before noticing the suit laid out of the bed.

Natasha looked calm, but Clint could see the way her eyes tightened with worry. “I thought we could go on another date,” she said evenly.

Clint wanted nothing more than to lay in bed watching TV and eating Poptarts, but Natasha had obviously put a lot of thought into this. “Yeah, okay,” he said, throwing his sweatpants over the chair back and looking over the suit. She had even laid out socks and underwear for him.

Clint dressed and let Natasha put something in his hair, which she assured him looked good. He stuffed his feet into the uncomfortable shoes she had picked and let her adjust the tie before following Natasha out of headquarters and into the waiting car.

Clint felt his eyes slipping closed as he listened to the soft music playing. He shook himself and focused on watching the city go by. They finally pulled up outside of a fancy looking restaurant, Clint following Natasha as she walked up to the host, all eyes following her. She smiled charmingly at the host. “We have a reservation under Rushman,” she murmured.

“Right away,” the host smiled, leading them to a table in the back. It was by far the fanciest place Clint had ever been. He was just waiting for someone to notice that he didn’t belong and kick him out.

He settled at the table, glancing at the array of silverware spread across the table, afraid to touch anything. The host pulled out Natasha’s chair for her and Clint belatedly realized he should have probably done that. A woman came over and handed Clint a list of wines before starting to talk about wines and flavors and things Clint had never even heard of. He shot Natasha a panicked look before she smiled at the woman and ordered wine like she had done it a hundred times. The woman took the list and they sat in silence until she returned with an entire bottle of wine, pouring some for each of them before setting it in a bucket of ice.

Clint glanced over his menu but it was full of items he couldn’t pronounce. What he really wanted was a pizza, or maybe a good old fashioned hamburger and fries, but a glance at nearby tables dashed those hopes.

He didn’t have long to look however, before their server arrived at their table. Clint chose a meal at random, hoping he didn’t completely butcher the pronunciation. Orders in hand, the server left, leaving Clint and Natasha alone.

Clint cleared his throat. “How did you hear about this place?”

Natasha looked completely at ease, glass of wine held loosely in her hand. “I asked around when I bought the ballet tickets.”

Clint awkwardly picked up his own wine glass, taking a small sip and grimacing slightly at the taste. “Ballet tickets?”

“Yes,” Natasha nodded. “We’re going to the ballet after this. It’s supposed to be a good one.”

Clint had never been to the ballet but it seemed important to Natasha so he pasted on a smile, thinking longingly of his bed.

Clint made it through dinner without embarrassing himself, following Natasha’s lead through several courses, using the various forks and spoons until everything was gone. He still wasn’t quite sure what he had ordered but it had tasted good enough, and, while he wasn’t quite full, he wasn’t starving anymore.

They walked the short distance to the ballet, Clint reaching out to hold Natasha’s hand, though she pulled away after a quick squeeze. There was a crowd formed outside of the theater but Natasha expertly wove through them and to the door, showing their tickets and gaining access inside. They were led to their surprisingly comfortable seats where they settled in to wait for the ballet to begin.

Before long the curtain rose and music swelled, dancers coming out on stage. Clint’s eyes burned with weariness, blinks becoming longer until he suddenly jolted awake, Natsha’s elbow planted deeply in his side. Several people were looking at him and he flushed with embarrassment, muttering “sorry” under his breath.

Clint forced himself to stay awake for the rest of the ballet, using intermission as a chance to go to the bathroom and splash water on his face. The ride back to SHIELD was quiet, Natasha staring ahead and providing one word answers to his questions. They separated as they got to the barracks, Natasha heading to her own apartment without saying goodnight. He had a lot of apologizing to do.

***

Clint grunted as Natasha threw to him the mat again, already sore muscles protesting the rough treatment. He lay there, breathing heavily for a moment before announcing, “I give up.” Natasha rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything, instead grabbing two bottles of water, dropping one on Clint’s chest before opening the other and taking a long drink, sinking down to sit beside him.

“Am I forgiven?” he asked.

“Let’s go shower,” she said, which was good enough for him.

***

Clint stood under the hot spray, letting the warm water massage his aching muscles for a long time before finally getting out and wrapping a towel around his waist. He left the bathroom with a billow of steam before stopping dead when he saw Natasha laying completely naked on his bed.

His gaze travelled down the length of her body before returning to her eyes. “What’s going on?”

Natasha sent him a sultry smile before beckoning him closer. “Come here,” she said, keeping her eyes fixed on him. He walked to the bed on autopilot, watching as she sat up and untied his towel. He followed as she pulled him to the bed, arranging him on top of herself before leaning up and kissing him.

Clint was quick to get on board, kissing Natasha back, gasping as she ran her tongue along his bottom lip. Natasha took advantage of the opening, slipping her tongue into his mouth and pulling him further down until they were pressed together from chest to hips.

Gasping, Clint pulled himself away from her mouth before moving to her neck, kissing and sucking and nipping his way down her neck to her collarbone and breasts. He laved his tongue over one of her nipples before sealing his mouth around it and sucking. Natsha’s hands landed in his hair, gripping tightly and holding him in place. He moved his hand to her other nipple, rolling it between two fingers, listening to the gasps and moans, cataloguing all of the sounds she made. He switched his mouth to the other side, licking and sucking until they were both peaked and Natasha was thrusting up below him.

Keeping one hand on Natasha’s nipple, Clint moved further down her body until he reached her clit, breathing in the earthy scent of her before licking gently, moaning at the taste. He continued to lick as he brought his hand down from her nipple, gliding it smoothly down her stomach and hips. He sucked on her as he felt between her legs, reveling in the wetness he found. He gently pressed one finger inside, groaning at the tight, wet heat of her. After a few gentle thrusts he added a second finger, crooking them until he found the spot he was looking for, Natasha’s loud gasps letting him know when he hit his mark. Natasha’s nails were pinpricks of pain on his scalp, pushing him closer and moving him where she wanted him as she thrust up toward his face.

Clint kept pressing inside of her while he licked and sucked at her clit, listening as Natasha’s gasps got louder and higher pitched until she yelled out, walls spasming around his fingers. He worked her through her orgasm before finally pulling away and resting his forehead on her hip. His cock, he noticed suddenly, was throbbing between his legs. He crawled back up her body, pressing kisses against her skin as he went, until he reached Natasha’s mouth and kissed her deeply, arms bracketing her head.

Natasha’s hand wrapped around his cock, pulling twice before reaching for a condom laying on the nightstand, putting it on him as Clint breathed deeply, trying to gain some control over himself. Once it was on, she lined him up and Clint slowly pushed in. He had to stop and gain control over himself, face pressed to Natasha’s neck before he was ready to move, slowly pulling out before sliding back in.

Clint pulled back to look into Natasha’s eyes as he set a steady pace, unable to believe his luck that he would be here with Natasha, that she would choose him when she could have had her choice of anybody. Her hands were on his back, pulling him closer.

“Faster,” Natasha gasped as she thrust her hips up to meet him. He sped up, watching her face as they found a rhythm, feeling heat pooling low in his stomach, until a sudden pain in his back caused him to sit up in shock, his cock slipping out of her.

“Ow, what the fuck was that?” he gasped, trying to look over his shoulder.

Natasha looked confused for a moment before holding up her hand, long nails on display. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Clint muttered before leaning down to kiss her. He didn’t get far, however, before he hissed in pain from the scratches on his back.

Natasha sat up too. “Here,” she said, pushing him toward the side. “Lay down on your back.”

Clint did as she said, sighing at the feeling of the cool sheets on his back. Natasha straddled him before sinking down on his cock. She set a quick pace, raising and lowering herself, breasts bouncing and drawing Clint’s eyes. His hands, which had been resting on her hips, started to slide up her ribcage, heading for her breasts when Natasha suddenly stopped and lifted herself off of him, turning so her back was to him and sinking back down.

Clint frowned, unhappy with only seeing Natasha’s back but the gasp she let out before saying, “much better” made him stay quiet. She resumed her pace and Clint settled his hands on her hips, thrusting up into her. He could feel his orgasm racing toward him but held off as Natasha’s gasps started to get louder again. He grit his teeth and thrust until he felt Natasha spasm around him, pushing him over the edge. He thrust up into her a few more times while his orgasm washed over him, then lay back, panting.

Natasha slid off of him, walking over toward her clothes set aside on the chair, pulling on her underwear and picking up her pants before Clint realized she was planning on leaving. “Wait,” he said, reaching an arm out to her. “Stay, please.”

Natasha gave him a long look before putting her pants back down. She reached down and grabbed one of his shirts off the floor, pulling it on before walking back to the bed. Eye’s still locked on Clint, she slid between the covers. Clint quickly disposed of the condom before grabbing some boxers from the floor and sliding them on. He joined Natasha beneath the covers, reaching out for her but she pulled away.

Clint dropped his arms back down, unsure of what to do next.

Natasha watched him for another few seconds before turning her back, eyes on the door. Clint moved closer and rested his arm over Natasha’s waist, hand reaching up under her shirt to rest on her stomach. She tensed almost immediately. Clint started to pull away, but Natasha placed her hand over his arm, holding him in place. She took two deep breaths then her body relaxed. Clint felt his exhaustion creeping up on him, so he pressed a soft kiss to the back of Natasha’s shoulder before drifting off to sleep.

The next day Clint woke to a cold bed.

***

Clint jolted awake as his bedroom door burst open, banging against the wall as Natasha strolled in, dressed and ready for the day. “Why are you still in bed?” she asked.

Clint groaned, rolling so he could see the alarm clock on the side of his bed, groaning again when he realized it was only 7:00 am. “Why are you awake already?” he countered. “Come lay down with me.”

Clint ignored the slight pang when Natasha ignored him. She rarely stayed with him; even when she did, she was gone long before he woke up. He should know better than to keep asking.

“I’ve got a mission. Solo. You have one too, Fury wants you in his office.”

Clint burrowed down into his bright purple quilt, unwilling to actually get out of bed so early. He heard Natasha sigh, and then the blanket was pulled away, leaving him cold in only his boxers in the chilly air. He huffed but opened his eyes, glaring at Natasha who looked entirely unrepentant.

“Fine, I’m getting up,” he muttered, rolling out of bed and looking for pants. Natasha walked with him to the cafeteria, although whether that was because she wanted to spend time with him or because she didn’t think he would actually make it alone was unclear. Once he had coffee in hand she kissed his cheek then strode out of the building, ready for her mission. Clint finished his coffee and got a second one before finally making his way to Fury’s office.

***

The mission had sucked but at least it was over, Clint thought as he limped into his room, the dog he had rescued walking at his side. Clint’s ribs were bruised and his knee was sprained. At least the dog had gotten a clean bill of health.

He lowered himself gently in a chair, watching as the dog sniffed around the room. “I need to get you some food,” he muttered. “And a name.” Apparently satisfied with his inspection of the room, the dog jumped onto Clint’s bed and laid down. Clint smiled, “you’re lucky I like dogs so much.”

The dog’s head perked up and his tail began to wag. “What? What did I say? Lucky?” The dog’s tail moved faster. “You want to be named Lucky?” The dog barked once, bright and happy, making Clint laugh. “Okay, Lucky it is.”

The door opened with a quiet click and Natasha walked in, mouth opening to say something before she noticed Lucky on the bed. She stopped in her tracks, mouth snapping closed as she stared. “What is that?” she asked.

“This is Lucky,” Clint introduced. “I found him on my mission.”

Natasha gave the bed a wide berth as she made her way to Clint, keeping wary eyes on Lucky, whose mouth fell open in a doggy grin. She pressed a quick kiss to Clint’s head. “Have you been to medical?”

Clint sighed. “Yes, they said I need to take some time off for my ribs to heal, but it’s nothing serious.”

“I’m leaving again tomorrow,” Natasha told him. “Do you want to come by my place later?”

“You’re leaving again already?”

“Yes. I have a favor to ask you tonight.”

“Okay,” Clint said. “I’ll shower and come by in a little bit.”

Still keeping an eye on Lucky, Natasha walked back out the door and back to her own apartment.

***

Showered and dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, Clint made his way to Natasha’s apartment, Lucky trotting along at his side. He had tried to leave him behind but the puppy dog eyes were brutal.

He knocked twice at Natasha’s door before walking in. The sitting room was tidy, pillows decorating the couch with a matching blanket draped tastefully over a chair. Unlike Clint’s apartment there were no empty mugs littering the space. Lucky’s ears perked up and he bolted into the room, tail wagging and happy barks echoing in the small space. A black blur tore through the room and into the bedroom, Lucky following hot on it’s heels, skidding into an end table and knocking a small ceramic figure to the ground where it broke.

Clint followed after Lucky, almost skidding into the end table himself before freezing in the doorframe to Natasha’s bedroom. On top of a very tall cat tree crouched a small black cat, hair standing on end, tail high in the air, hissing at Lucky who was bowed in a playful posture, bouncing around the bottom of the tree.

Clint grabbed Lucky’s collar, pulling him away from the cat. “That’s not how you make friends, bud,” he told him. Natasha rushed toward the cat, petting it gently and speaking to it in a tone Clint had never heard before. Clint pulled Lucky out of the bedroom, closing the door on his way out. “When did she get a cat?” he asked Lucky.

They settled in the living room, waiting for Natasha, Lucky’s head resting on Clint’s knee as he scratched him behind the ears.

Finally, Natasha left her bedroom, standing ready by the door even though Lucky stayed by Clint’s side. She was holding a duffel bag in her left hand.

“When did you get a cat?” Clint asked.

“I found her on my last mission. Her name is Liho.”

Clint nodded, unsure what else to say.

“Will you come feed her while I’m gone? I wanted you to meet her, but now I need to leave. Her food and water is in the bathroom.”

“Wait, you’re leaving now? I thought you were leaving tomorrow.”

“Something changed and I need to go now. Will you check on her?”

“Yeah, of course,” Clint said standing up. “Anything you need.” She ushered him out the door then locked it behind her, handing him the key. She pressed a kiss against his check and then she was gone.

“C’mon Lucky,” he sighed, “let’s go get some pizza.”

***

Clint had learned his lesson and left Lucky behind while he went to check on Liho. He unlocked the door and stepped inside, immediately feeling little pinpricks of pain on his ankles. He started to kick his leg out before realizing it was the cat attacking him, claws dug into his skin.

Bending down, he gently untangled her from his ankle, shushing her as she hissed at him. Once he was free, he deposited her on the cat tree, heading into the bathroom to fill her food and water.

The next day she was nowhere to be seen. Clint would have been worried but she had eaten some of the food so she had to be around.

Several days passed in the same vein, the only sign that a cat lived in the apartment was the half empty food bowl. The day Natasha was set to return Clint entered her bathroom, bending down to fill Liho’s water when something small and painful landed on his back. Instinctively, he stood up, turning to find whatever had attacked him, hitting his head on the bathroom counter. The pain in his back grew as Liho held on tight, hissing as he moved.

“Ow, shit, fuck,” he chanted as he held his head, moving around the bathroom, Liho yelling her displeasure. Suddenly something plucked Liho from his back and he spun, still holding his head, to see Natasha holding the cat in her arms, speaking to her softly. Liho glared at Clint before looking up at Natasha and purring.

“Your cat is the devil,” Clint told her.

“She’s no such thing,” Natasha told him. “She’s just scared.”

“Scared my ass,” Clint muttered, reaching back down to finally fill the water dish. “Are you going to be around for awhile?”

“For a little bit,” Natasha said.

***

Clint was enthralled in the movie playing on his TV, the car chase ending in a fiery explosion, the good guys finally clearing their names and ready to return home. Right before the credits rolled, however, a bloody hand appeared in the wreckage, the bad guy pulling himself out, glaring after the heroes as they left.

“Oh my god!” he exclaimed, “did you see that?” He turned to Natasha, excited to discuss the ending when he saw her reading a book. “What are you doing?”

Natasha marked her page with her finger. “Maria gave me this book she thought I would like. It’s really good so far.”

“Oh.” Clint thought for a moment. “Do you want to pick a movie?”

Natasha glanced up at him, “No, I’m going to read.”

Clint looked down at Lucky, laying on the floor by their feet. Lucky and Natasha had come to a truce, of sorts. He wasn’t to lay on her and she wouldn’t play with him but she would gingerly pet his head once when she arrived and once as she left. Lucky nosed his ball toward Clint. Clint, happy with the distraction, tossed the ball in the apartment, watching as it bounced off several surfaces before rolling down the hall, Lucky chasing after it happily.

Clint had thrown the ball a few more times when Natasha stood abruptly, book closed around her finger again. “I’m going to go back to my apartment, good night.” Then she was gone.

***

The next day Natasha sent Clint a message asking him to check on Liho again. He hadn’t even known she had another mission.

After several days with no sighting of Liho, Clint was worried. He searched the cabinets and under the furniture before finally finding a pair of eyes glaring at him from under the bed. Clint thought about reaching out for her, but the scratches on his back had taken forever to heal, and he had no desire to get new ones on his arms. Instead, he returned to his own apartment and Lucky, who was excited to see him even though he had only been gone fifteen minutes.

***

Clint didn’t even get a chance to see Natasha before he was sent on a mission. He had spent the days leading up to it researching different doggy daycares and boarding places, reading reviews and calling to make sure Lucky would get to play and have fun and would have a comfortable place to sleep at night.

He called Natasha as he was getting in the car. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you before I left.”

“I understand,” she answered. “Do you want me to check on Lucky?”

“No,” Clint replied. “He’s being boarded at Camp Bow Wow, I’ll pick him up when I get back.”

“Oh.” Her voice didn’t give anything away but Clint had the feeling she was upset.

“It’s just,” Clint explained, “I know you don’t really like him. And he needs a lot of attention, so I took him someplace where he’ll get to play with other dogs all day.”

“I like him,” Natasha said softly before clearing her throat and changing the topic. “Be safe, I’ll see you when you get back.” And then she hung up.

***

Clint walked slowly through the park, Lucky beside him on his leash. Clint watched all of the couples laying on the grass, eating ice cream and holding hands, laughing and joking and looking so in love. It all looked so easy.

He found a clearing and spread out a blanket, holding out the tennis ball he had snuck into his bag. Lucky’s eye lit up, a wide doggy grin on his face as he bounced around. Clint laughed, reaching out to unhook his leash before tossing the ball, Lucky taking off after it like a rocket.

He had only thrown the ball a few times when Natasha walked up to him, settling down on the blanket beside him. They didn’t talk while Clint continued to throw the ball, waiting until Lucky had flopped down on the blanket at Clint’s side before finally speaking.

“Are you happy?” Clint asked.

Natasha gave him a slow look. “Yes, I think so,” she answered. “Are you?”

Clint sighed, burying his hand in Lucky’s fur. “Not really.”

“What’s going on?” Natasha asked.

“You’re my best friend, and I love you, but I don’t think this is working out. We barely see each other, and we don’t really have anything in common.”

Natasha remained silent.

“It looks so easy for everyone else.”

Natasha took Clint’s hand in hers. “Clint Barton, you’re my best friend, too.”

“That’s why I think we should break up. Do we even have fun together anymore? I’m afraid I’ll lose you forever if we keep trying to force this.”

“Okay,” Natasha agreed, voice level. “I think you’re right.

They stayed on the blanket, holding hands until the sun went down. Without speaking, they stood, folding the blanket back up, and walking back to SHIELD hand in hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://loonyloopylisa.tumblr.com/).


End file.
